


I loved alone

by TrashyHeart



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: A Komaeda that's conscious between his death and the end of the game, Actually a lot of kamukoma before the hinakoma, Canon Divergence, Everything is the same but Komaeda never woke up, Heavy Angst, Komaeda is the main focus here, Luck plays a really important rol here, M/M, More about luck and hope/despair and of course... Komaeda, Multi, New despair source, Now Hinata/Kamukura is the main focus too, Psychological development of the characters, Slow Build, Welcome back despair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-08-27 02:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8384488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashyHeart/pseuds/TrashyHeart
Summary: N O T - I N - H I A T U S - A N Y M O R E «Are you asking us to kill one of our friends?!! The killing game— everything is over now!! We didn't come here to k... kill each other again just what...  r-really what...  ...now you're saying that for the sake of our own life we should kill Komaeda because it doesn't matter, he would have wanted us to make use of him?!!  What is wrong with you....?» It's far know surviving is the most basic instinct. A strange turn of events led them to feel once again the despair burning their bodies. This time, it was somehow special. Because it wasn't an induced thing; it was real... it was their, their own and original despair. Of course, everything wouldn't have happened if Komaeda... well, everyone reached the conclusion "if Komaeda didn't-" at least once. But, it was really like that? Of course there were reasons to, but did someone at least tried to understand him? Tsumiki once claimmed society made her that way, and everyone seemed to still trust and take care of her. On the other hand, in fact, there are some persons that understand him, almost all death except for one... too busy taking care of his own mental state to notice all the reasons behind this despair.





	1. Prologue

 

 

I am not sure why I am writing this.

I don't even know what day is today or the time right now. Judging by the light it seems to be dawn already. 

_I'm hungry._

Well, it's not like I'm the only one hungry here, and as I was saying... I don't know why I'm using the last forces of my body to write something that no one will ever read. 

Everything to be said though... 'Til now, I never realized how many people I lost that day. It seems pretty fun, how could I have been such an idiot? 

I... Totally forgot about them. 

And now... well, tomorrow. 

Tomorrow we are voting about if we should take the life of one of our friends or not. 

I say voting, but everything is almost prepared.

We are... 

We...

We.....ee....e........

are making komaeda shine like the biggest hope tomorroww....w........ww...........w.....

 

* * *

 .

. .

. . . 

I'm floating...

Such a nice feeling, huh. 

Left, right, left, right, left and right... 

It have been a long time since I started to float.

Even if it's strange to be floating in the middle of nothing, the feeling is very comfortable. It's not like I have anything to do anyways. Oh— wait. Don't put it like that, maybe there's something I need to do, but I don't really remember. Well, I don't remember how did I get here in first place but nothing bad have happened so long... 

I'm sleepy. 

And let me tell you, that fact is very funny. 

Because I have no clue about what's going on or when I will be released from here (It's fine to assume that I'm trapped, right?) I have been sleeping most of the time. 

And that's..  well, that's all. 

I get it. Not fun enough. 

Whatever.

This is a lovely place! 

It makes me feel like nothing, isn't that a wonderful thing to feel? Everything is just one being and I'm part of the lovely pace it has. I'm conscious that I'm conscious while thinking about this, but I can't find my own arms or lips to talk. Even so, I can swear my body is filled with this glorious, beautiful thing... my whole body is swimming, being drowned in hope. 

No, don't get me wrong! Don't be like that... I'm not asking you to understand such a lowly person as me. I can say just by watching you, you're so used to this amount of hope that it's laughable this reaction of mine... 

...

A—ah~

Once again, who was I talking to?

Sigh... my eyelids are starting to feel so heavy...

.

Ah.

I'm... feeling my eyes again, my body... 

But what is this feeling of...

being abducted... 

Kkghhh—!!!

No—

No—!!!!

Why

Why are you taking me apart from hope—

Don't...

DON'T—!!!!!!!!! 

_«How pity»_

What—

_«Furthermore,_

Is someone there?!

_how did you came here?»_

_«...oh. I see.»_

_«What a boring existence...»_

_«Just a£÷~÷s m!!?×17#¶∆ne...........................»_

 

* * *

 

 

Finally I can open my eyes. 

It's so miserable to admit, but I had a bad dream. 

It was a dream full of feelings and emotions taking all of me, I couldn't even stand my own personality or less, attitude. 

And then, when I woke up.

—... 

—...

There was this man in a black suit resting against the wall, that would probably be the entrance to either, heaven or hell. I was dead, I killed myself... or I should say, I managed to make someone kill me. 

I never expected death to be so lively. I could sense my heartbeat inside my chest, and a suffocating experience would come if I cut off my breathing. After examinating my own self for a couple of minutes, I looked at him with a soft smile. 

—Why do I feel like I know you? There's no doubt you're so filled with hope you could be an angel, but I don't really think I or my family would have such a magnificent being taking care of us, so it's improbable that I would have seen you before in some incidents. And... I'm pretty sure I'm not dead. 

He exhaled in annoyance, I was so used I didn't mind.

—So, would you be kind enough to tell me where am I? or maybe why I'm breathing...  _is it because this is a game?_ Please, don't get me wrong. I'm so worthless that I'm wasting your time but... you seem to have a lot of that, don't you? And also, something is telling me you can answer me. Really, I would be so lucky if everything followed that path! You know, to be completely lost and...

—Boat. 

I blinked a few times. 

—Excuse me? 

—This. A boat. Now you know where you are. 

—Oh, but...

 

 

 ...I already knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! I'm writing this prologue at 2 on the morning, and I haven't managed to get a beta reader so probably this had a lot of mistakes. I'm really sorry about that, but I wanted at least to write this short thing before I go to sleep. 
> 
> That's is! This chapter (if I can call it like that) it's just a mere test and prologue. The real story will be more long and the writing won't be so confusing. It was a mix of different characters, narrators, and times just to show a little about what I'm going to write. 
> 
> Corrections are welcome, and if you're interested for the beta reader rol, please contact me. :)


	2. In the beginning was the...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly penetrating the lungs, a small voice scream but there's no one to hear his desperate desire to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading!! Have this in mind.  
> My writing style is based in 3 narrators:  
> -3rd person (omniscient).  
> -1st person (as the character is narrating).  
> -1st person (as we can get inside the character's mind without him noticing). 
> 
> It's the easiest way I can explain it... I suddenly change to one from another, and sometimes it may read very confusing (as in the last case). Most of the time this is intentionally because I don't expect a human mind to be easy to understand from a viewer pov, only that person knows and orders his mind... even if it's narrated in first person.

Stranger than you dreamt it  
Can you even dare to look, or bear to think of me  
This loathesome gargoyle  
Who burns in hell,  
But secretly yearns for heaven  
Secretly, secretly...

_[The Phantom of the Opera]_

 

 

 

Have you ever had a wish, a desire you want to be completely fulfilled regards anything? I know nobody would never get closer to understand me, and until now I haven't worried about it before. But we are all humans, right? I think it is normal to have this kind of selfishness, wanting to protect something is not bad. You can see it everyday, parents looking after their child's sake or future. People fighting for animal's rights, a homeless person clinging to his pet or a lonely woman at the opposite side of the sea looking at the sky making a promise while reloading her weapon ready to protect her country.

These are hope's fruit.

And hope is absolute good.

Ah, I remember asking for hope once... though they said only the thing I wanted to hear so they could leave as soon as possible to get away from me. I don't blame them, of course, it's a natural thing don't wanting to get involucrate with a human like me. But sometimes, just sometimes, I would lift up my face to the sky meditating _"What do they think hope is about?"._ You may read this and just sigh, what's with that thought to give it so much importance? I don't care at all if people understand what is hope, or even if they are conscious of it, but the days that question doesn't leave my mind, feel very cold and my chest gets emptier than usual.

Fighting with egocentric emotions, those that aren't for hope's sake, is something I left in the past. At one point of my life I get ride and buried them in the depths of my being. Mine wasn't an existence valuable enough to have the right of choosing, I would never be good enough to hav·$82”v8sm&20hs!%d(“34r1as!”·$I. To protect, to wish... surviving is just the most basic instict. A worthless and low person like me clinged to what moves humans to exist, stupidly thinking that because he's human and it's a human thing he could touch it someday without tainting it with his stained hands. How naïve. Worrying as his mere existence could damage such beautiful thing as hope. Forgetting that for hope, for the world- he was merely nothing. And again, it's something wrong with that? I already said that desires are always born in selfishness, I know I'm trash, but a _human_ trash. And let me tell you, I'm not the only one. Most of the people are filled with weakling, with a hope as boring as they are. Even if hope it’s for everyone, there certainly are types and scales of hope. And the ones who can make the biggest hope shine again are my classmates. Aren't I lucky? Not only that, I was told an ordinary existence as mine could bright with them! Of course that's not true, but at least that means I'm better than the _other ones,_ right? Knowing I could never shine as the true Ultimates, I thought at least I could become a stepping stone for them. For hope. For their hope.

 

I wanted to see their desires lighting the world beacuse of me. I was so disappointed to see with my own eyes that some of them were corrupted from the very beginning with despair... one by one, failing and dying so easily, letting their dreams and hope sink, when I have been clinging to _hope_ for how many years.

So I started to think… it is natural to say this moment  was brought to me by luck! Now... I could take their place and became a symbol of hope.

Honestly talking... I should have done it long ago.

I... I don't really know why I let him interact with me.

I got carried away, believing in his words...

I thought, maybe, I wasn't seeing something.

I thought, maybe, if I went with him, we could reach another path.

And, even now, I have this feeling that I'm losing something somewhere.

Even now,

that I know all is a farse, and I was never wrong.

Why is...

 

How pity, so many things  hovering in a mind  that changes of view within a second. A boy was lying on the floor, covered in blood, trying to convice himself what he was doing was the right thing. Oh dear! How many times did he change his discourse? A few minutes ago he was totally convinced he was prepared to die, and now his eyes where silently watching the spear dancing over him.

And then, he closed his eyes again.

 

_Hinata-kun._

If there wasn't any duct tape covering his mouth, he would have smiled.

_Isn't Hinata-kun late? He's on time to come and ruin my plan proving once more how useless I am._

His wounds no longer hurt him, instead this imaginary tic toc was driving him crazy.

_Isn't this situation strange, why is there a spear above my stomach?_

 

 Silly! Ignoring all he was,  neither the steps he heard moments before nor the increasing heat in the room he wanted to acknowledge. He was becoming a stepping stone for hope! He was becoming the symbol of hope!! He was going to be hope itself!!! Why was he doubting now?!!

Some flasbacks started to crosse his rotten mind, the body shaking at the sound of these imaginary voices. His eyes slowly turning up making them look almost all white.

 

_"...somewhere deep in my heart... I was probably hoping to find someone who could stop my evil deeds"_

Nngh. 

_"I bet if that really was my reason, at least some of you would feel sorry for me"_

 

Buuuuut, now he’s totally alone!!! Why bother making such stupid excuses so people could feel sorry about him in his mind?! Why even bother to make people feel sorry about his existence! Did he wanted to be remembered? But it’s all for hope's sake!! Or him?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Does that make any sense?! Komaeda Nagito, just how devilish you can be!! How egocentric?? You’re about to use your luck to get everyone killed, and you’re still searching for some reason to manipulate and make them feel sorry?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! How stupid, how useless, how hopeless everything was. The game, him, this artificial hope… Nnnnngggghhhhhh.

 

_"Now that I'm on the verge of death, I've finally realized what I wanted all along: somebody's love."_

Ah.

_“You don't understand? Is it because you don't have anyone to love? Is it because you're also someone who isn't accepted by anyone?...What a pity. I feel sorry for you.”_

 

it's already time, isn't it? 

 

Finally, resigned, he cleared his mind as nothing happened so far. As if he was being just playing an unknown facade for fun and the playtime was already over. A deep breath, his lungs were filled moments before the atmosphere of the place suddenly changed. 

How wonderful! His final scene was soon to be played. If everything was going as he planned, then it was a matter of minutes for the end to take place. And of course it was going to happen, he had luck in his side after all. The only good thing within his existence. Even though, this would normally be so disappointing. Being abble to carry his will this far without any interference, didn't it mean his attempt to be a stteping stone for hope, was actually bigger than the hope itself his classmates carried with them? But Komaeda knew. He knew how many atrocities they comitted. He knew those persons that have been surrounding him in the island, going on the trials and working hard to survive, were tainted with despair long ago; that they let their hope, desires and dreams be corrupted and trampled under that woman's feet.

However, that wasn't all to finish the man. Until the end, a bothering fact wouldn't leave his mind. What could he do to deal with it? Because, if the files were right and everything wrote there was true; that existence (the one safe from all blame) should be somewhere around. The Ultimate Hope that was probably  _using all this despair to give birth a brighter hope and nothing more,_ must be there. Because this marvelous being couldn't even be tainted with despair, because there's no way to hope to die, because if he didn't believe in that way his world would abruptaly change again; where is he?

 _He's just a normal and low person now._  
_Just as me.  
But something is out of place..._

The heat began to burn inside his throat from the need of air; Nagito was totally prepared to die and  _save the world_ , in the end, he has been preparing himself to welcome death for so many years until now. This was nothing. Or so, Komaeda repeated deep in his mind. Death wasn't an enemie to be afraid of, neither an obstacule, but he didn't want to leave something undone tormenting him in the next life. Thinking and thinking, of course he already knew the answer to his question; but sometimes it was just so difficult to accept some things. The same was for every person in the world. So sad, facing and fighting is the only way you can advance. 

In whose hope was he believing making the traitor kill him? 

Acting like he was done, like his madness finally took over his brain breaking all restrictions. Wouldn't that mean the self loathing talks were false from the beginning? What was it? Did he genuinely think a low person like him could become the symbol of hope? His selfsishness was claiming so high? He truly thought he was at the same level as the other Ultimates from the start? But wouldn't that go against his character and what made him be himself? Then... the other alternative. He genuinely thought his plan would have been interrupted? He truly thought and hoped from the bottom of his heart he could be a stepping stone for hope? Or... was he relying in something else... someone else. 

It was the perfect set up, they would reach the conclusion it was his doing all along. Even if they were right, they would die for losing their hope against despair and not being abble to see further more. And with that, despair would finally dissapear and not longer live in his classmate's bodies. They would  _finally be clean after that and shine again._

. . .

_"I thought, maybe, if I went with him, we could reach another path."_

_Hinata-kun._

_I know I'm not worth to ask anyone a favor, but since you're not in position to decline what an Ultimate says, you will hear me, right?_

_I can't find the asnwer, whose hope is this?_

_I'm becoming the Ultimate Hope that will save humanity and free you all... or I'm becoming a stepleadder for you?_

_I already told you once..._

_Kggh..._

_Ah, right, I have no time left, until the end this body of mine is worthless and can't stand any longer._

_I need to do this properly or everything will be meaningless._

_A shoking scene to shake the hope inside of my dear classmates._

_I can't appeal for some emotional break for my death, I don't worth that much._

_So I just have to appeal for the grotesque, just like me!!_

 

What a wonderful actor, trying to play his human role until the end, shinning upon the stage, a quiet silhouette started to convulse in the ground; fingers curling on his hands, an awestruck, painful, piercing gaze was looking at the ceiling. The imitation was perfect, the fear drawn on his face felt almost real. Maybe too real considering Komaeda could never do something so perfectly when he was so useless at everything. Oh dear, wasn't he such a bad actor he show his true self seconds before it was all over? How worthless he couldn't even follow his own plan. Ah, but if luck was on his side... people wouldn't notice that.

Because he was lucky, nobody would ever notice.

_Hinata-kun._

_I understand now, so..._

The venomous final breath, poison filling his lungs and quickly spreading through his veins till the last cell. The spear penetrating his flesh was the only witness of the tears leaving his eyes; the only one to hear the silent desire to live this poor boy had until the end. 

_I'm looking forward to see the awakening of the hope that sleeps inside you._

 

* * *

 

When I first woke up I was so disappointed. I never expected death to be so lively, I could perfectly sense the heartbeat in my chest and when I tried to choke myself it was impossible, a suffocating experience burned my throat and my own body wouldn't let me keep with it any further. Other than that, I couldn't remember anything and I had very blurry memories of my own past. Everything was dark, it was a matter of time I realized I couldn't open my eyes and when I tried to get up, my legs would fail and letting me fall into the ground.

The time passed just like this. I can't tell very well because I'm not sure if I was completely conscious, of course I slowly recovered my senses and composture after, but the time I expended like that is still unknown to me. My vision was the last thing I gained, I even checked if my eyes _were still there_ or if  _some bandage was covering them._ Lucky! It seemed in the end I wasn't kidnapped or something; aah but then I was again in the start. Just... what happened. Finally opening my eyes, I noticed the room itself was absolutely dark. Some moonlight entered through a small window at least, but in propotions it was insignificant. I still couldn't walk. My body felt heavy; not the same as before, still to weak to explore the place. So then, I gave up and leaned against the wall, it was better to secure some energy for later. Sitting on the floor, I focussed on trying to remember what was I doing before I came here. How useless. It looked like a neverending work when, all of sudden and surprising me, my memories finally came back as a bullet shooting me from nowhere. I instantly opened my eyes and, and when I did that, I realized I wasn't alone. There was someone else in the room just in front of me. At first, I hardly could differentiate him from the dark, but once my eyes got used at, I recognized something familiar on his face.

Aah, but that was nothing compared to the glorious feeling that filled my body just  by sharing some space; we didn't even have to stay closer, I could feel his existence delicately caressing my skin in a lovely harmony of hope. So beautiful, so exciting, it was so warm and relaxing. I was shivering without being abble to push my eyes away from him.

Nnh... this was, he was...

I had no other choice than embracing myself in constrast of the utterly feeling of inferiority. 

There was this man in a black suit, eyes closed while resting in the opposite wall of the room; an image brought to me moments after I recorded the memories of my own death in my brain so I wouldn't forget again. I saw him on the files, yeah, but even if I haven't I would recognize him by mere sensing. When I overcame the first impression, I expended some minutes examinating myself, making sure I was fully recovered and anything was missing. After that, I looked at him with a soft smile, I didn't say anything, but the face he was making was the one that probably knew what I was going to say. And that jut add more excitement in asking him. 

—You must be Kamukura-kun, right? to finally get to meet you after I die... I'm so lucky! This is definetely the best turn of events luck could bring me!

The room stayed silent. As expected, there was no response. Instead, something caught Komaeda's attention. It was minimum, but Izuru's expression changed as if he said something wrong. Well, the situation of Nagito saying weird stuff to others that actually made sense for him wasn't new, however, no matter how many times he repeated the phrase to himself, he couldn't find anything offensive. About to open his mouth to excuse himself, he got silenced by a serious tone.

—...I see. So that's how it played. Not interesting at all. 

Words that made no sense to what he said moments ago.

And so, he was so absorbed by the other, he forget to response.

—Uh... ¡A-Ah! I'm sorry —he apologized shaking his hands after seconds of not replying—, I got carried away on my own thoughts... and I didn't think you would actually talk to me, Kamukura-kun. Then so, what is this not interesting thing you were talking about?

What was the point in talking to him if he wasn't waiting for a reply? Maybe Komaeda realized he wasn't in the mood or he would never want to chat with him... no, Kamukura was sure the other realized his unwilling attitude. Therefore, why bother to talk if he knew the result? How boring, he wasn't making any sense and his entire being was even worse than the other two times they met. Worthless, meaningless, hopeless... he didn't do any advance in this whole time. Even if he has been expending his days sitting alone in this place doing nothing, only observing from the distance, dealing with Nagito was a non-go option. Izuru opened his eyes, looking directly at him for the first time now. His gaze penetrating the other's, that alone was enough to speak for him.

_"You"_

Komaeda blinked a few times, chuckling to himself with some self loathing words Izuru didn't bother to hear. There sure wasn't something interesting in the pale man, why was he wasting his time and energy like that? Izuru looked away to the empty and never ending space of nothing, though his head instantly moved again in Nagito's direction. His vision caught the exact image of the both hands of the man when he tried to avoid him. So he truly was the him from many years in the past. And that fact, for himself, was... 

 —Kamukura-kun. 

Yes, it was tiring, and boring, and pointless. But if he called him like that, it was impossible not to pay attention to what he had to say, even if he was faking not to. It was a natural reaction.

—...kind enough to tell me where I am? I don't want to bother you, and I'm really aware I don't worth your time. Though it seems there's no one here and from that... you seem to have a lot of time, don't you?

 But, like always, he ended listening only the necessary. The most basic, natural and boring question to get started; though the answer wasn't that common. He ending in this place was an unexpected thing at first, when entering to the program he lost sense of reality as his entire self felt like vanishing- or well, he was. Those were the last memories left when he woke up in this dark place. After analyzing it better Kamukura understand he couldn't disappear just because the memories have been taken away. After all, he's physically in control, and that couldn't be undone. It was almost like expecting a person with brain damage to be the same as always. The Neo World Program just send his entire existence to a black space. You couldn't "cure" some cellular damage erasing memories. One thing he learned, this "black space" was somewhere into the program, but the laws couldn't reach this part. It was a death space and with some investigation, Izuru managed to control the place at his will. But, was there a reason to change it? That's why it remained almost equal to the dark place he was brought. 

—Boat. —He sighed closing his eyes.

—...excuse me?

—This. A boat. Now you know where you are.

—Oh but... I already knew that. 

Komaeda's smile is so bothersome. Why to smile in this kind of situation? Was there even a reason to? Smiles, for what he knew, were supposed to show happiness. Does he feel happy in a situation where he doesn't know where he is or what is he doing there? So screwed up. Oh, but of course he knew his smiles weren't the same as everyone. There were no genuine and often hide something. Right now, for example, the situation was the same. Though his being was so insignificant Izuru passed from dealing with him. If he knew, then the conversation was over. Obviously Nagito didn't think the same way.

—I can tell from the gentle movement of the room we're inside a boat. Even trash like me could notice that. I was referring more, like, is this place someone's property? Who is in charge of this place? ...is this despair or ho-... 

It was none. All the darkness here was hiding this not white, not black but gray space. Unique for those who were merely observing from the distance and making choices from the events. That was Kamukura's idea of this place,  _a place for him._ But then the improbable side of luck shined in front his eyes when Nagito awake. All Izuru's mental processes were analizying this outcome when Komaeda suddenly fainted at his feet. It was far away from being a normal scene. Everything was playing as it should be, hearing only the important parts of the other man discourse and ignoring the rest, Nagito probably didn't mind and would continue with his speech. That was when this soft and calm voice shut up, his mouth letting out a painful moan. When Kamukura opened his eyes to see what was happening, the play in front of him was an horrorific expression of the man falling, with his eyes wide opened drowning not in despair, but in this suffocating expression of facing death. His left hand clinging to his chest and part of his throat, his right hand extended towards him. The petrified body fell, and the fingers of his right hand rubbed his knee. Of course Izuru stayed unaltered, as he was watching the whole thing in slow motion the same time his brain recolected the info. Before realizing it, the image changed to a girl covered in blood lying in the ground, extending her hand the same position the man was only seconds before. 

When he recovered his senses, he didn't undersant why he was trying to reach for Nagito's corpse and why he felt so excited and panicked. It was somehow natural to faint if your body thinks you died hours ago. He would wake up again if he leave him alone. Izuru closed his palm and without saying a word he stood up. 

It was a natural, predictable and not interesting at all passing away in his current state.   
And furthermore, it has nothing to do with him. 

Then, why...

why was he using his talent to change (hack) the place, when he already came to the conclusion it was not worth it before?

Why did he use his force and his arms to lift that body of him? 

Why was he looking after that troublesome man?

He had a lot of answers to these questions, of course, if not, he wouldn't have done it without a good reason. 

Even if it's most likely he came here because of his weird cycle of luck,   
the outcome of this meeting... was according to her finals words and feelings, or that woman plan and purpose? 

The only logical explanation for all these irregularities was that he was forced to interact and enter the show by the luck of the other. Though he wasn't entering the game and the meeting was close to just him. 

—Then so... is your luck going to teach me whose words I have to believe? 

After saying that and leaving Komaeda safe in a bed, Kamukura looked at his sleeping face wondering if this was really the final test to confront her feelings (hope) with her plan (despair). Once done, he walked towards the wall beside the bed, and sat down with eyes closed waiting him to finally wake up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! I hope you liked the chapter.  
> FIRST OF ALL!! Did you find any mistake in my writing? Please, let me know if something doesn't make sense or it's misspelled! I have a hard time dealing with this since English is not my first language. 
> 
> I have to be honest with you, as I was writing this, I feel the urge to change the plot of this fanfic. Not completely, but I'm moving from have Hinata and Kamukura to just Hinata, cause I think first... eeh, I won't tell. Explaining would be an entire spoiler www. But I can say, I was completely captive by the option of developing Hinata's character as two in one. This was going to be a really angst fic war between Kamu and Hina... though anyways this will be the same (?) the mental focuss and psychology of the character will be completely different, and from that, interactions and events I planned must also change. And with this, I have to change a little things about Komaeda and his interactions too, and the source of despair...  
> Ye, everything will be the same, but in a different way. (??) Idk what I'm talking about. Finally, to add that genres will also change. From just angst and misery to angst and misery again (?) but with more humor and casual things. 
> 
> ALSO. I'll probably change the summary of the fanfic, but the name will still be "I loved alone". Just so you know.
> 
> And now.... a little remember!!
> 
> I'm looking for Beta readers (since I'm not a native English speaker and I'm writing with what I learned on internet, lol). Having betas correcting and helping me would result in faster chapters and a better lecture.  
> If you're interested, please visit my profile to contact me. :) 
> 
> See you the next time!


	3. This is not a chapter

Hello there!   
First of all, I want to say thanks to all of you.  
When I lost all my beta readers I was very sad and I dropped this beloved fanfic of mine. Seriously. I had so many ideas then and now and I was just too sad I could not write them for you.   
After all this time, this account and its e-mail were forgotten.  
Until now.   
I just logged in my email and saw all of you... writing me a year ago to continue this story and even now!!   
I don't know how to express how happy I was.

So this is the deal: I will try to continue with this story no matter what (even if it took me weeks or months).   
I have neglected my English so it will be a bit hard, but I'm counting on you to correct and guide me. :) 

That's it! If anyone that's reading this is interesting in being my beta-reader to help me correcting my English I would be very glad. 

And again, thanks all of you. You brought me back here, to continue doing something I love.

Thanks.


End file.
